A Tribute to my Mom

I was 14 years old then when my mom left us. That was my first broken heart and felt the feeling of insecurity and uncertainty. Questions were all rushing on my mind. Who's gonna take care of me, my dad and my siblings? Who's gonna wait for us at our home when we got back from school.

Although, I'm not a sweet and caring girl who often say the words, "I love you, Mom", but believe me I do. You're the best ever nanay in the world.

Whenever I was sad, you always made me laugh. You even acted as gay and impersonate fashion models just to make us laugh.

There was a time we walked around at 12pm just to find balut to eat for our midnight snack. Wow! Grabe trip ni nanay!

I also miss the perfect hug you had given to us whenever we were afraid of thunderstorms, the perfect care whenever we got sick and the perfect kiss whenever we were in trouble. Not to mention, you always cook each and everyone's favorite dishes even it was hard for you to budget my father's salary.

But I know, you're still watching us from heaven. I'm pretty sure, you always ask God not to put too much burden on us or that whenever we're in doubt, hurt or scared you and God hug us to ease the pain.

Don't worry mom, you can be proud of your children. Though, we're not together coz of our line of work, we always see to it that we're always be there for everyone whenever one of us has a problem. We always take care of tatay too, always understand and consider his feelings especially that he's too old now.

Don't worry mom, I'm not a crying baby anymore. Though, I cried at times, I become more and more brave to face challenges in life because you taught me how.

I miss you and I always love you, nanay.

mY cOuRaGe cAkE

I really really miss you.

I'm so excited to bake a cake for you. I hope you will like it. Ann taught me how to bake a cake and I know this is simple task but this means a lot to me. I even called this cake a "courage cake" coz for some reasons. First, I disturbed Ann to teach me how to do that on our most precious holiday (when we were supposed to go for shopping).Second, I put all my efforts on baking a cake, as Ann said I was very serious while I was doing it. Third, this is my first time to prepare a cake for my very special love …. My three nephews (who else!).

I am longing to see you.

Hey, I have to wait for seven long months to go home and see you; and now I am making a to-do and where-to-go list for my one month vacation. The good news is: dyaraaaan…. I will spend my whole month vacation with you, my little princes!

Actually, this is my way of making it up with you. Remember, the last time I went home and spent my vacation. I went out with my friends most of the time and kept you waiting. My favorite nephew even slept on my bed, was waiting for me for long hours. I'm sorry, guys!

Anyway, here's my to-do and where-to-go list. I hope you'll love this. Any suggestions? You are free to do so. Just let me know, okay? Well, take a look at my list.

1. Visit the hometown of your mom and I. Wow, guys I'll show you the park where your mom and I used to play till sunset. Of course, our childhood is not complete, if I will not tell you how we climbed mango trees when were young! You bet! I remember, your mom was always scolding you whenever she saw you climbing the trees (Ha-ha-ha! Now, she knew what was our mother's feeling when we were doing that kind of thing!)

2. Visit Manila Zoo and Luneta Park – Aiyo! This is where my favorite nephew's favorite place. Come to think of it, maybe the animals from the Zoo are reminding him of his father and his relatives from father's side! (Joke! Peace, guys!).

3. Watching movies like Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings for the nth time. I'll never get bored watching movies with you, guys. I even am starting to collect dvd movies that suits your age.

4. How about eating irresistible barbecue, balut, kwek-kwek and tukneneng? I'll teach you also how to eat not-so ripe papaya with vinegar, or guava w/ vinegar. I'm sure, you're imagining how many mangoes w/ alamang or bagoong are we going to eat. Wow! Can't wait!

5. Hmmmm….wanna try stargazing at night from our rooftop and wait for the wishing star till we get stiff neck? He-he-he.

6. I'll teach you how to make a kite and make it fly high. (Nah, am I dreaming, I don't know how to do that!) But for you, I'll try or maybe I'll ask somebody to teach me first. Does anybody know how to do it? C'mon, I need your help.

7. Of course, how can I forget, your Jollibee's favorite chicken joy! Eat till you drop, guys!

8. I'm on a diet but for you, my dear ones, I'll forget it for the meantime coz…dyaraan… I'll join you in eating keloggs w/ milk on your midnight snack!

9. And… baking a courage cake for you! I know, only your mom can bake your favorite cake but don't underestimate me, huh. I'm 100% sure, you will love my mouth-watering cake. Oooohhhh.

I know this is not enough. Don't worry your pretty tita is still thinking of the ways how to make it more enjoyable and unforgettable.


Well, I just hope that I can make you happy, my princes. Though, I know you still want your mom besides you. Just try to understand, she's working hard in a foreign country (just like me) to give you a better life but then, always remember that she's always thinking of you everyday. The reason why she has the courage to live is because of you, my princes.

Can't wait to see ya!

Finally....

17 Oct 2008
9:30 p.m.

Nin Hao!
Finally…. I got the courage to publish what's in my mind.This is my very long time great wish since I was in high school…. That is to become a writer. Who cares??? Even if nobody wants to read my writings, even if nobody cares, who cares as long as I'm gonna fulfill one of my greatest dream. (ha-ha-ha). But there's one greatest wish that I wish it to happen. That is…… my greatest crush Wu Chun and Atom Araullo would visit my blog and make a comment on this (Wow). What do you think, huh? Nevertheless, this is enough, to be able to write what's on my mind and my heart is really a big success for me.

C'mon, guys. Bear with me. Does it sound overboard? This is me. And this is my first time to voice out my feelings, (whew!) Whatta great feeling! Wanting to know the real me. The reality inside my closet, he-he-he.Dyan dyarararan…

I am inviting you to join me with my melodramatic life, laugh with me, cry with me, fight with me and work hard with me.

Finally…after a long time, even nobody wants to listen what's inside me, I know someday, somehow there's someone out there who's gonna have an interest to get to know my real feelings. I am still waiting for that wonderful moment to happen…that there's someone who will never get tired to give me support, to listen to all my crazy thoughts, impossible ideas, radical opinions. Although, he will disagree but still he will try to understand.

Finally…after a long time, I become the real me. Though, my friends knew me that I am always brave and they even thought me that I have a cold heart with no emotions at all. They even thought me a Big brother, Ge, Pare or Kuya. Hey, do I look like a guy or a gay? Ewwww, guys, I'm 100% a lady (A-ha). Hey, I think my friends will never ever think that I can write my sentiments through this. (Ha-ha-ha!)

And finally, time for me to sign out. Till then, guys. Just wait for my upcoming small things to reveal from my messy closet. Gudnyt. Mwaaaaahhhh!!!